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Monthly Archives: November 2012

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So cool. 😀

Rediscover You

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I don't own the picture“Rediscover You” is a title of a song played by a Contemporary Christian band named Starfield. I really like that song because it reminds me of the times I experience when I feel so lost, especially when I simply feel exhausted and down, like no one is there (even God) to help me out of this trouble I got myself into.

For these past few days, I have been feeling so burned out in school. Not only in school, but I am sure that there’s something that keeps me burned out for long now. Bad things happened in school, and the worst is that I don’t even know what to do about it (what I know is to pray for it). Then a loved one of mine died. That’s how my week went last week. I didn’t even understand my Math lessons (which made me frustrated), and we will be having three major quizzes about Politics and Governance on Tuesday (along with the Math lesson I didn’t understand a bit), wherein my reviewer was lost. Okay. It happened for only two days. And then, I also felt condemned with what I was doing lately. I wasn’t reading the Word that much anymore, and it’s because I didn’t want to. Am I becoming stubborn already? Did my isolation with people around me gave me this status or condition in the present? I simply hate feeling like this (who would even want this kind of feeling).

You know that kind of feeling when you think you are doing the right thing, yet people around you sound or think as if it’s the wrong thing that’s why you feel so bad about what you’re doing? That’s how I feel these past few weeks. I am not even sure if I really am hearing from God. I haven’t been so sure ever since last two months, honestly. I feel like crying all the time, and if you would permit me, I would cry all day. I’m sure God hears me every day. But I don’t know why I feel this way. I’m sure this is a lie, but why is it that I still run in circles, not getting out of this mess in my life?

I believe that He’s still with me though I’m experiencing this. I believe that I need a little faith to believe in Him more this time; a new level of faith. It’s painful. It’s painful to be molded by God. You know what is also painful in this process? CHANGE. If you have to let go of things, you have to, so that God may completely change what is needed to be changed in you. Don’t force Him to remove “that” something needed to be surrendered or else you’ll be hurt. Just imagine a child who hugs his favorite teddy bear but was snatched by someone who knows him best for his good. A child won’t understand the situation, but that “someone” understands. So why not let go anyway?

“Rediscover You” also talks about rediscovering Him like it was the first time you surrendered to Him. That day when you totally surrendered to Him upon knowing who He truly was in your life, you let go of yourself. He is continuously giving us chances to let go of the things He needs us to let go of. As what I read in a picture last time, “Don’t pick up what God wants you to put down.” Admit it, if we’re too attached to something, it really is hard to let go. That’s why we have to be careful on how we are living today. How we live today determines how we are going to be tomorrow. Our habits mold our character (an idea from Joyce Meyer).

Right now, I seriously and honestly want to surrender EVERYTHING to Him again. I seriously and honestly want to be EMPTIED by Him. I want to learn how to be satisfied in Him alone, trusting Him alone, and to focus fully to Him. I’ve always wanted someone to talk to. I believe that God has provided people for us to talk to, not only Him. Why did He create Eve if He knew that Adam can live alone? He created people who will support us along the way. Don’t live alone. He knows that we are too weak to live alone. Admit that YOU ARE WEAK.

Thank you very much for taking your time to read this entry. I actually cried while typing out the words in this entry. 🙂 For you, the reader of this entry, it is a help to me already. I just need a helping hand this time. Thank you~ ❤

I Surrender!

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I Surrender!

Surrender. What does it mean? According to Mr. Google (as I searched the word), SURRENDER means to “cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority”. You stop resisting yourself from the enemy, and submit to their authority, huh?

I honestly can’t remember the time I surrendered my life to God. But I believe it was somewhere in April 2010 (wow, it has been 2 years). I remember those days before surrendering my life to Him, I used to cry to the songs played in the Sunday services we attended at. I used to pray to God, but thought that He doesn’t answer me. All of my wrong thoughts about Him turned upside-down because of His LOVE and GRACE for me.

Surrender. Better stop trusting in yourself, but start trusting in the One Who loves you the most, to the One Who created you, to the One Who holds your life. In Psalm 118:8 (ESV), it says, “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.” It is true that people can’t be trusted. I’m not saying that we should not trust anyone else already because God doesn’t want us to be independent in our lives. We should put our full trust in God and in Him alone. Yes, we trust men, but don’t expect much from them (includes me). Change is constant in us. We are never satisfied, accept that fact. When it’s hot, we want something cold, but not too cold because we’ll demand heat again.

Surrender. It meant to cease resistance from the enemy. Is He our enemy? You define it before you knew who He was in your life. We were once slaves of SIN, our ENEMY. God hates sin. He sent His Son to die on the cross and raised Him to life after three days to defeat DEATH. Death is the penalty of sin. That’s how He showed how serious He is about sin. He sacrificed His very own Son to “die” for us.


Surrender. Are you ready to surrender everything to Him?