What’s With July?

this picture is not MINE

Now that I am back with my head up, I am being active in my social network accounts again (Facebook and Twitter to be specific… is WordPress counted?). What happened last July? Why wasn’t I active? I said it in my recent post https://whoismaria.wordpress.com/2013/06/30/adios/.

How did I seek Him? I actually forgot HOW to seek Him. I started again like what I did before. I read books about Him. I read a book entitled “It’s OK To Be Not OK” by Rev. Rico Villanueva. I committed to read that book for the whole month of July, but gladly finished it before the end of July so I started reading another book (but it took me days to get over thinking about my insights from “It’s OK To Be Not OK”). Reading that book made me realize that what I feel (worried, down, sad, almost depressed and depressed) is OK because I am not alone. It is not okay when those “negative” emotions would really BE negative. God uses our emotions as human beings to glorify Him too.

How can He be glorified when we doubt and be sad? We get closer to Him by praying. I actually realized that if we feel like He’s not there, CONGRATULATIONS. It means that we really felt His presence and believed that He’s there even for a little while. We will never recognize nor appreciate His presence if we never felt His absence. We won’t be sad over the absence of something if we do not need it, anyway.

I spent my July with sadness and gladness, with confidence and pity, with hope and grace, and with faith and doubt. I became inactive in my congregation. When I attended services, I didn’t sing praises to Him because I doubted Him. I kept questioning His existence. I prayed without my personal self indulging in it. I forgot how to be passionate in Him, believing that everything I did to Him were all lies. I thought that what I did before, spending time with Him, reading my Bible alone in my room, etc. is all because I was told to do so. I thought that my heart wasn’t really in accord with my actions. I didn’t know what to believe anymore.

What I learned is that He’s always there. Like what I realized while having a good conversation with a friend, God lets us go through certain situations in life, may it be good or bad in our own opinion, for US to change and not for HIM to change. He never changes, anyway. He wants us to be open to Him, to let us go to Him in our worst state, to be US. He understands. I suddenly remembered a certain scene in the Bible (Old Testament) when God changed His mind in destroying Israel because of Moses. I believe that He’s always moved with our faith. I don’t want to state things that may be a lie but I think (this is only FOR ME) God’s blind spot is a person’s faith. I can’t explain it, but it seems like it.

Anyway, God molds us for a new level of faith. I had gone through such a tough season in my life, and I thank God because He promised victory for me. He promised that I will not always be in the deep because He wants me to go up again, to climb again to where the broken and hurt people are to testify how good He has been to me. He let me experience hurt and pain to connect with the same people who got hurt. He let me experience situations in my life so that I could relate myself with those people who are undergoing what I went through.

Like what a friend of mine prayed for me, “She will get back up stronger, God.” I’m still that girl who kept wearing a smile even when the days are dark. I felt that I wasn’t that girl anymore, but God helped me to get back up on my feet again to encourage people. I am going back to the battlefield, preparing to respond differently in life’s challenges. Surely, I cannot do this alone. I need His grace to conquer the battle within me. Now, I’m starting again. He gave me another day to experience His love and grace in my life. He gave me another day as another chance to change for the better.

Hello, August!

Ignite 2013 Day 3 (Part 2)

After the first session of Ignite 2013’s Day 3, I’m sure that everyone in the venue were so fired up with their passion to spread the Gospel to where God will place them.

The next session was so heated up as well when Pastor Jackie Su preached on stage! He’s Chinese, and he’s really funny when he speaks. You could feel the power of the message he’s preaching. Anyway, he focused this time on Jonah. In his story (found in the book of Jonah), he ran from God when he was called to tell something to the people of Nineveh. In Jonah 1:5, Pastor Su emphasized Jonah deeply asleep below the deck of the ship (going to Spain) where he was. He compared it when Jesus was also in a ship with his disciples (Matt. 8:23-27). In Jonah’s case, he slept as an attempt to “run away” from his problems. In Jesus’s case, He rested with a peaceful heart.

Pastor Su then focused on Jonah 3:1 that God is a God of second chances (more than second chances, actually). He called Jonah again, and this time, Jonah responded. When God has called you “again” to do something, how will you respond? Here we could also see God’s compassion for ALL PEOPLE (Jonah 3:10). He’s gracious. Pastor Su’s words were stuck in my mind, “We are caught (in His grace) and we are called for a CAUSE.” He has a plan in mind. Like how God has used Jonah to speak to the people and to turn back to Him again, let us respond to His calling. He will surely use us in an extraordinary and unimaginable way.

Hurray! Such powerful sessions so far~ After those sessions, we had a half-time show again, and I had so much fun cheering for La Salle! *cheers. There was a Kinect game for the universities. Plus, the finalists were asked to make pick-ups to know who will be the winner by the claps and shouts of the crowd. When finally, someone won, Ogie Alcasid suddenly showed up (Boy Pick-up)! His testimony was so inspiring too. I never knew that he was a believer.

I was amazed when intercessors went up on stage to pray for every nation and campus! I was truly in awe when a girl interceded to the different nations too. I think she spoke in her language because I wasn’t able to understand her with some of her words, and it gave me goosebumps. It felt like she spoke in tongues!

Let the rest of the third day be posted at the last part, Part 3! Thanks for reading my blog posts about Ignite 2013, my Ignite Experience, up to this point. 🙂

Here’s a picture of the colorful crowd! Colorful = Alive (yeah!)

If God Is…

I don’t know what urged me to type this new post for my blog, but of course, like how a blog functions: it is to express your thoughts (if it’s a personal blog). 😉 All of the “if” sentences here are based on my opinion. Sorry for the picture inserted here. It’s too cute.

If God is not PATIENT, I think almost 90% of the population of the whole world disappeared today because most of us are like naughty children who kept on playing even though our parents already told us not to do so anymore. Isn’t it nice that we have a God Who remained so patient with us, no matter how complex our personalities are? Our personalities are already complex, PLUS there are over more than billions of people with hard-to-understand stubborn personalities. So it’s amazing to have a patient God.

If God is not SOVEREIGN OVER ALL, then the legends could be true: that different supreme beings are ruling the water, land, air, fire, and all the natural phenomenon occurring in this world. And if this GOD Who is sovereign over all, is the same GOD who controls the whole universe, who would not even trust this God who’s in control of everything that’s bigger and wider than a whole human race? But we’re still taken care of. He’s alive until today.

If God is not KIND and GENTLE, we’re bruised and maimed everyday. No exaggeration, GOD is so POWERFUL. Imagine the same God Who created the whole universe and galaxy, along with the world we live in and us, human beings, and His hands are going to spank you for being a bad follower or for being a bad creation (when in the first place, He was the One Who created us but we were consumed of our pride as human beings with free will, following our own ways, and refuses to be filled by His Spirit that He offered so freely for us).

My point here is that we are God’s wonderful creations. Yes, we are really wonderful, as wonderful as the beautiful and majestic bodies of water and celestial things outside our world. We were created by an AWESOME God Who got so many qualities we could never imagine nor fathom. Our Creator gave us EVERYTHING. Not almost everything, but EVERYTHING. He gave us His Son, He gave us the breath of life, He gave us His Son, He gave us the Way, the Truth and the Life, He gave us the Bible to read what He wants us to know about Him, He gave us free will, He gave us His unending love and grace, He gave us His Spirit. There’s still too many to mention, but these are a few of the things that He has given to us, and there are still yet to come.

Today, I want us to reflect on who God is in our lives. I want us to be grateful on Who He is, plus on the gifts He has given us. Stay grateful! 🙂

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How’s College?

Okay, so here’s a picture of my block mates. Sadly, now that Second Semester started in school, some of them were separated from the block. If you could find me in the picture, then that’s great. (credits to my block mate for the picture; I’m not sure whose camera was used for this picture)

Now that I am in College, many people has been asking me the same questions all over again, “Where are you studying?”, “What is your course?”, “How’s College?” and for those who want to stalk me (including my lovely dear friends), “What is your schedule?”. In this entry, all your questions will be answered – except for my schedule.

In De La Salle – College of Saint Benilde, College life for a frosh (this is how some College people refer to the freshman) like me is really stressful. Our school is trimester. Midterm exams are held after 4-5 weeks of lectures and projects, while our Final exams would be weeks after our Midterms (as how it usually goes). I wasn’t really used to it because in High School, we had only two semesters. Each lessons were finished in one day in College. At first, I really found it too pressuring and stressful. I found every professors as a revolver whenever they discuss a particular lesson because we follow a syllabus. Maybe that’s the reason why we really had a hard time understanding our lessons in Algebra during our First Term. As a result, I got a final grade of 2.5 in Algebra (an equivalent of 85-88 in our grading system). I thank God for that grade. Truly, His grace is enough for me.

Second Term has come in our school. I’m proud to say I survived the First Term as a frosh! *cheers* I’m even aiming to be a Dean’s Lister from the previous term until the last term for this year. So far, I was able to adjust to the way I should study my lessons now (I have to change my study habits now that I’m in College because my High School study habits won’t be too effective as it was before), and I learned that I should really recite during classes. Some professors would highly encourage us to participate in class because it has a big percentage for our grade. I suddenly remembered a quote I found in FB, “My shyness has ruined so many opportunities.”. That is true for me.

I’m a Bachelor of Arts in Arts Management student. My course isn’t really common around here. I’m “not the artist” here. Instead, I am the “promoter of arts”, as said by our orienter during our Frosh Orientation Program. It’s almost the same with Business Management and Finance Management, but the only difference is that our field is in Arts. As what I heard from my friend-block-mate, she said that someone graduated from ABAM (shortcut of my course) and became the Arts Director for Toyota. That’s cool. But I’m still thinking about shifting from my course to Multimedia Arts because I absolutely love drawing.

Now that this entry’s becoming long and too much words surely is boring at times, I’ll stop here. COLLEGE LIFE IS SIMPLY AWESOME, BUT NOT AS AWESOME AS GOD. I believe that He’ll continue molding me here. He placed me in this school for a reason – to make a change not only in me, but also around me. I’ll continue to be a living testimony for God.

As how my another friend-block-mate ends her essays or introductions, “To God be the GLORY!“.